Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Monday 17 September 2012

Heart #2:Ultimate



Assalamu’alaikum wRwB

It’s really hard to start but without communicating this, I won’t be able to face this life peacefully in the years to come and I’m afraid I’m wrong because I neglect all the miracle that ALLAH has already granted to us, and do not try hard to pursue the right that we should achieve for the rest of our lives.

We’ve been close friend since then and we’ve also discussed so many things since the beginning of  our friendship began. Hopefully, we’ve already known each other very well, our basic principle, our way of life, etc. But actually  I don’t know the feeling of others and the firmness of others in promoting the truth itself (including you in this case).

I know since the beginning,  I’ve talked a lot about my world, and I feel you’ve respected and (hopefully trusted) me, my kids and all my related world so much, but in reverse you never talk too much about yours, especially your beloved ones. This makes me really eager to know but never be satisfied, I just can create my own description about you and your world. But, lately, because of ALLAH guidance everything is getting clearer and clearer everyday.

Since the beginning I initiated this relationships, I and everyone that I know believe that you are a good man, and nobody tries to persuade me to end this relationship, everyone always supports me to continue the relationship, with, of course, I should maintain and maintain my patience, but why? I still don’t understand until now.

And since the beginning of this relationship, even though I don’t know who you are, but there are courage in me to always be prepare to any unpredictable happenings in this relationship, so I’ve already set everything – dare to be happy, be sad, even worst than that, cause I believe it won’t be easy to have a relationship like this, both of course have our own traumatic experiences as well as sweet memories and achievements happening in our past times, that both should  care, handle, and appreciate.

The ta’aruf has been occurred within the six month period, then, I know that you have already one, but actually it doesn’t a matter for me because I’m not against polygamous marriage, but  then I’ve been shown her sms, she considered that the relationship could endanger hers, but she actually was wrong at that time, because I never thought to do such irresponsible acts, like hurting others, overruling or even pulling you away from your beloved ones.  But by then,  I have tried hard to turn away from you, but again I’m failed, until now my love to you has been greater and greater each day.

I’m really confused actually, because, for me,  my faith and my belief, after the ta’aruf stage there won’t be any other endeavor except getting married. But, I should face the real confusing life, because I don’t know in what position I should stand. Should I ask you to marry me? But when  I think about this,  I will suddenly cry harder and harder, because I really don’t want to be in that position, cause I’m afraid I will hurt the ones that you really love. But, I myself have even been trying hard to be away from you and no to contact you but I’m failed and failed again.

It is good or not in your opinion, your culture or even your religion, besides,  I also feel ashamed actually to launch this idea to beg you to marry me, but I truly believe that this polygamous marriage can solve all the social problems. I promise I won’t change everything in your life, I just want to pursue and complete both of our family happiness.

You have to promise to yourself that through marrying me you won’t leave the ones you love but you’ll love them more. I just want to feel ease because I always feel inconvenient and against ALLAH rules because of my faith to HIM if I should contact  you after this ta’aruf stage accomplished. After that, you needn’t have to visit us if you do not want  and do not have time too, but contact us regularly that is enough for us.

Regardless to my own pride that has been fell apart, but only for begging and asking  the blessing from ALLAH the Almighty, with BISMILLAAHIRROHMAANIRROHIM I then send this email to you. Please forgive me, if it’s been too impolite, too vulgar, and  too strightforward for you….

Wa’laikumsalamu’alaikum wRwB…

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