Dearest …
It is not easy to write down what happened to me and the reasons of what I did, since it sounds so crazy. This is the story of my own version (yours may be quite different).
We know at the beginning everything went on as any other events, we introduced each other and attended classes, session by session, our seats were usually a little bit far (it was probably 3 or 4 times only we sat side by side in class). Nothing’s special. Time went on, we talked as others did. Then you told me your problem (I was surprised why you talked to me) and we discussed it together at any place and any time we had. Do you remember when we had a Long discussion until there was no one but us? It seemed I also enjoyed it, even you said I was your doctor, though I did not understand really because I just told you what was in my mind. Then slowly but surely something grew in my heart that made me so close to you.
I tried hard not to believe that it happened to me and I did all of those stupid and silly behaviors simply because of self denying my own feeling. In front of our friends I made impression that we had no specific emotional relationship. Sometimes I could not help to laugh at myself why I did it. But the fact was that it did not work at all and you know it, I always hoped to meet you soon every day. So I’m very sorry for confusing you for a long time or perhaps making you unhappy, sad, and even hurting you. Once again, I’m really sorry for my stupid behaviors and I did not mean it actually.
When the rumor about us was blown up, crossing in my mind an idea to show off, but I could not do it, I even decided to stay away since I was afraid of making the situation getting worse. Again, I behaved stupid things though deep in my heart it was different. I hoped you got no more trouble because of me, but you thought other way around. Sometimes I also thought I was your trouble maker, made you unhappy, sad, and even crying. That guilty feeling often drove me to forget my feeling, but once again it totally failed. We got closer and closer. Is it funny or romantic?
As you know that I committed to myself to help you finishing the program and it was the main purpose for that time and I am Very proud of your successful achievement to be number one in our class. I appreciate your hard work and congratulation. It was not easy to get that position but you have proved it and it also proves that you are strong woman and I am sure you will have a good future life with your three inspiring children with you. I think you are not only tough, but you are great Mom. You must trust yourself and your confidence that you can face the world with smile and optimistic.
The dark will End by the coming of sunlight that shines on your heart.
Anyway, I am happy when You and the children are happy and enjoy the life peacefully and I always support whatever you do and whatever you decide for the sake of your future, joy and happiness.
Last but not least, I also thank you for everything since being with you I am so … glad and happy, it’s wonderful moment in my life like the lyric of the song “all my life I will feel it” though I deny it at the beginning (he…he…he…).
Please give a chance to meet them someday, I mean it and it is a must I think.
This is to explain what I did and I feel now…
Best Wishes,
TRAP
(1st Launched @wordpressdated August 8, 2007)
